Old Blog Entries - a must read for the Chérie connoisseur
So Ive been looking at my old blog (2003 to 2004ish) and realized some of the stuff I use to write about was so ridiculous it was incredible. It makes me sad how many of these have to do with bowling. None the less Ive compiled a list:
Top 19 Things Chérie Wrote About In Her Old Blog and Should Probably Be Embarrassed To Repost But Isnt Because Chérie Has Nothing to Prove
19 Thomas: I wish some of your fellow cashiers would be as nice as you
Cherie: They are nice, just look at Jaime
Thomas: She is always mean to me
Cherie: Jaime be nice to Thomas
Jaime (in the most intimidating, "I am about to kill you RIGHT NOW" voice) I am ALWAYS nice to you Thomas
Cherie: ummm, what about Elle
Thomas: She is nice, but she has intentions....
18 The creepy neck kisser came back into Whole Foods the other day... he has a faux hawk and buys pomegranates 2 at a time
17 Phil was in rare form today"
"well he has finally done it. Phil pulled a knife on a child"
[clap clap clap"]
16 I went bowling last night with Elle, Billy, Cayce, and of course Tommy. I even bowled a 100(triple digits!). Last night I learned some valuable tips on life. For instance, did you know that if you stick something up your bum and the hospital has to take it out they don't give it back? Karen said it was because that would be rewarding you and they don't want you to do it again.
15 Billy is my hero of the day because he left me this testimonial:
So i was just drinking a juice box, and it said "Berry Flavored Juice Drink" and i thought "man, this is good! if i ever came into a situation where i would have to resort to cannibalism, id wanna eat cherie, because if she tastes anything like this drink, she tastes good!"
14 Lupos is a gay Jiffylube
13 The phone rang. It was Eric. Eric made my month. I love how he understands how cool Jefferson Davis is (and unlike most of my friends, knows who he is). I miss having Eric around...maybe someday we can live near each other again. He is getting married next January, and that is cool. I used the word "rich" as in:
Eric: "I got to see Jefferson Davis's house"
Cherie: "Man that's rich"
Even in terms of the word rich that ISN'T wealthy it still wasn't right...why can't I use the rad when needed...or gnarly.
I love talking to Eric
12 I got a 233 at bowling and I didn't even cheat-Jamma did the cheating I just got the score
11 A melon shaped piece of produce comes through my line and I could DEFINATELY smell melon around me so I asked:
Me: What type of Melon is this?
Customer: Ummm that's spaghetti squash
Ryan: Ya this type of melon still has the stem on it...its a pumpkin melon
10 It is St. Patrick's Day-but I am not Irish. Inevitably someone will tell me "everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day" but I don't even know how to pretend to be Irish...because I am not. I am 100% French Canadian. I told Billy, "I don't bother Jewish people on X-Mas, 'Everyone is Catholic on X-Mas' because it isn't true!" Billy told me to come to the Special Olympics that should be their mantra
9 Why Jaime is the smartest person I know:
it makes you smell like dust and cigarettes, but theres nothing bad about bowling that a shower wont cure. Ha
8 When I got home I felt much better because Krazy K gave me reasons not to be too upset... after all my boob isn't all over the news right now! Sarah the Supercalifraggleisticexpalidous ALSO made me feel SUPER because she sang me "fat guy in a little coat" in Spanish on instant messenger....
7 So today I watched some Jem. What I really need is a boyfriend named Rio who has purple hair
6 And before any Christian readers get all offended-relax. I'm not saying that I'm the new Jesus. I'm just saying there's a very good chance that I might be (Danny Wallace)
5 You can't fight the sucky-ness of work because Express is always there and sometimes you go there twice!
4 After that we went to leave and we encountered a duck on a leash. Michelle picked him up and played with him while his owner talked a lot. We got a picture and all was well
3 and it reaffirmed my belief that if I am pregnant I will not ever get into an elevator because chances are the elevator will break and you will then go into labor-even if your only a few weeks pregnant
2 [Background info: Eric is my baby's daddy who lives in CT with his fiancé. He abused me a bunch and made me a huge pot head in front of his aunt and uncle....ps that's all true but I definitely am taking a BUNCH of that out of context]
1 The 5 second rule does not count at the BOWLING ALLEY!
